I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. (Maya Angelou)
I don’t know if I’ve ever had a week that’s crushed me more, and I don’t know if I’ve ever had a week that’s inspired me more. But something beautiful’s happened, and I want to share that with all of you.
If you’ve been following along you know that last Friday what should’ve been a wonderful evening in my life ended with me being physically manhandled at a concert; I wasn’t hurt, but it was inappropriate enough to leave me feeling violated. Then on Monday I heaped some pain onto that by having dental work done that busted my jaw. All in all, it was a rough few days and I ended up in tears, which I’m not proud of.
But then the tide began to turn. On Wednesday, one of my all-time favorite actors sent me flowers, just to thank me for my continued support of him. Thursday I did a fantastic interview with Colin Donnell for Chicago Med, which you guys are going to love. And then today (yesterday by now, I guess), my good friend Damon Gupton booked a major role on Criminal Minds and joked that he should send me flowers.
As for me? Well, I got to just relax and spend time kicking back, talking to one of my best friends and favorite people on the planet, and Jeff pointed out something really profound.
I often have to tell people that I’m not intentionally kissing their ass when I write about them, because I happen to be friends with many of the actors that I was and still remain a fan of. Jeff would be one. Damon is another. There’s Philip Winchester and Michael Trucco and Ben Daniels. It’s not a short list, and so outsiders sometimes assume that I’m writing positive press because I’m friends with people when in reality one has nothing to do with the other.
But that says something about me. People have responded to who I am and how much I love what I do. That’s so incredibly validating, because I’m just being myself. I’m this way all the time. If you met me in the grocery store it’d be the same thing. So people are really, genuinely connecting with me.
And that means more than I can usually ever tell them. You’d think a professional writer could articulate her feelings, but I don’t think I’ve quite been able to. After having a week where I felt scared and uncomfortable and really just not myself, just to sit on the phone for twenty minutes with someone that I adore and know that respect is mutual made me feel safe again. It made me laugh again. Jeff helped me get myself back together today, and he’ll probably never know it.
This is what I live for. To look at the flowers sitting on my desk and know where they came from, then be able to look down at my texts and see who I’ve been texting, and just realize that these aren’t just my favorite actors – they’re my friends, and I’ve earned that. That just fills me with so much joy. If I’m writing columns about them, it’s because it’s easy for me to see how great they are; it’s much harder to realize they think the same thing about me.
That bad weekend’s in my rear-view mirror now, and I’m just thinking about how this one is so much better.